What I Really Am

When something triggers an idea strong enough for me to sit down and write, I have no idea where it will end up. I don't know if that's because I'm untrained, or if that's just the way my brain works. There are times when I go back and read what I've written and it surprises me. I'm thinking to myself "I wrote that?" Last night, I was driving home in the light fog and the ideas were flowing. Fog, how the spectral shapes can make you think you see things that are not there, the eerie feeling that comes when you are out in the fog ... anyway, you get the idea. Today when I sat down and began writing, a line from the Nickelback song "How You Remind Me" flashed through my mind and sent me down an entirely different path.

Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger penned the lyrics to this particular song, the first single released from 2001's "Silver Side Up." I haven't heard the song in several weeks, but I've almost stopped questioning why things direct me to write. Because I'm not totally familiar with the lyrics, I looked them up. Reading through the entire song, it's not so much the whole song as parts of it that made me sit up and take notice. Kroeger starts:

Never made it as a wise man

Couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing

Tired of living like a blind man

I'm sick inside without a sense of feeling

And this is how you remind me

This is how you remind me

Of what I really am

This is how you remind me

Of what I really am

Let me break my thoughts down for you. First, I don't claim to be wise, and although poor, I don't steal because that's just wrong. The next few lines were like a sledgehammer. Tired of living like a blind man, I'm sick inside without a sense of feeling. This is how you remind me of what I really am.

Wow. When I was walking through life without Jesus by my side, I really was living like a blind man (woman). Without his guidance, there are obstacles everywhere. There was always a sense of something missing, feeling like I was not where I should be and unsure if I was going to get there. Thinking back reminds me of just how far I've come, and what I would be without him.

It can be difficult to turn your back on what you've done in the past. Ask for help. None of us are perfect, but we are all God's children. He sees, he hears, he loves, and he forgives. Every blessed day he reminds me of this fact: I am His!

God, I thank you for loving my imperfections, for steadying me when I stumble, and carrying me when I fall. Thank you for guiding my path, for showing me what we can do together. Please help me to let others see you in me.

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us." ~1 John 1:8 NIV