Amazing Grace

Most of us are familiar with the classic hymn "Amazing Grace." Some of the lines in that song speak more clearly to me than others, and today in particular, "I once was lost, but now am found, twas blind but now I see." The vision is blurry from these eyes ... and I believe only God's visine (aka His grace, love and mercy) can clear it. (written 28 Jan 2008)

Nearly 35 years have passed since I publicly fell to my knees and accepted Christ as my savior. Those years have been filled with many moments of sadness, despair and grief. The happiness, hope, and joy that have come, however, happily outweigh the sorrow. How can I sit here, with all that has gone on in the past couple of weeks, and say that?

Because God's angels, whom most of us call friends, are dispersed among us to remind us of what we have to offer as well as what we have to look forward to. Because God has never-tiring arms of love that rescue even the smallest of the fallen. Because His ears are supremely sensitive to the cries of pain, and his heart smiles with the beauty of love. When my mind is so overwhelmed that the only words I can form are "God please help me," He sees the entire pain and takes steps to heal it. Please don't misunderstand me. I do not doubt that He could instantly take all our pain away and that we would never suffer again ... I do, however, believe that there are times we are meant to hurt. It is remembering that we will never hurt alone that is most important.

It's been almost 8 months since daddy died. For some reason, I was hit on Friday with a sudden longing to see him and talk to him. Even when daddy was in pain, he never stopped looking for a reason to smile. I could hear his voice so clearly! If I'd been at home, I would have been on the phone with Cheryl. Unfortunately I was at work at Wal-Mart and couldn't just whip out the phone and call her so we could have a moment of grief/joy together. When I told her about it and about the urge to call her, her first question was "why didn't you?" I explained that I was at work (and so was she, incidentally). That may seem minor to some, but it is just another example of how I believe God has been at work in my life in the past year. We have gotten close again, and I know without doubt that she will be there for me. Whenever, whatever the reason.

When the despair hits, and personally speaking, I know it does, remind yourself of something that my friend told me again just this morning. When I told him that "no one hears my cry," his response was simple and swift "God does." He's right. God does. I just have to remember to listen and believe.

God, thank you for your unending and amazing grace. Even though I am less than perfect, I am yours. Work your plans for me as you would see fit, and help me to be an example of that grace in everything that I do.

"From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ." ~John 1:16-17 NIV