The Way We Grow

We go through different stages of physical growth in our lives. As an adult, I've reached my full height. Thankfully all my senses are pretty much in working order. My main focus is my spiritual, and in many ways, emotional growth. (written 19 Sep 07)

The body I'm in now, other than some weight changes, is what I've got until God decides it's time for me to come home. While I'm here, this is it. I know there are cosmetic changes that can be done, but even if I could afford such things, I wouldn't. I am who I am. Changing the outer appearance of me doesn't make me any different. For those who choose to make such cosmetic changes, I salute you! Only you know your reasoning, and that is what makes us each different. These past few months have been a time of growth and change for me, spiritually and emotionally. That is an aspect of me that I can change, that I want to change.

Growing into adulthood, I drifted away from the teachings of my youth. Never losing sight of them, I nonetheless did not make my life center around my belief in and love for God. Prayer was sometimes an afterthought. It took a major life event ... losing a job ... to make me stop and rethink my priorities. Suddenly, my whole life had changed. From simple things like a daily routine, to more complex things like having to restructure a debt load. I had more time on my hands than I'd had in quite a while. When I have plenty of time on my hands ... I think. God was working on me, and with me, because I was thinking HARD.

It took almost a year for me to come to the realization of where I needed to be, and why I needed to be there. I needed to be folded back into the arms of God, and to share that, because doing so would complete a part of me that had been missing. There have been many struggles in my life over the past year, but the decision to share my reaffirmation of my faith has not been one of them. My writing has become more focused. I only have God to thank for that.
This outlet, this release, this sharing would not be possible if God did not give me what I needed to say. By doing so, I am also getting stronger emotionally. I am being directed toward certain passages and books that are giving me greater insight into why I do some of the things that I do. God is driving this train .. and I am a willing companion.

Much like the children's shirts that say "Be Patient, God isn't finished with me yet!", I, too, am growing. I have maintained for most all my life that there had to be a reason God kept me alive. He has yet to show it to me, but I have faith that He will. He is taking this time to prepare me for what He will have me do. For those who love me and believe in me, be patient! I'm still growing :)

God, I thank you for being there, for showing me that I am part of you. Thank you for making me realize that your plan for me requires some preparation on my part so that I can better serve you. Give me the strength and the wisdom to follow you in every way.

"In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and he answered by setting me free." ~Psalm 118:5 NIV

"How can I repay the LORD for all his goodness to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the LORD. I will fulfill my vows to the LORD in the presence of all his people." ~Psalm 116:12-14 NIV