Dying from the Inside Out

I recently finished reading Dr. Don Colbert's book "Deadly Emotions: Understanding the Mind-Body-Spirit Connection". If you have any questions at all about why you may be feeling the way you do, I highly recommend reading this book. It was an amazing discovery for me. (written 31 Aug 07)

Before purchasing this book recently, I'd not read any of Dr. Colbert's work. I've seen several of his titles, but had not investigated them further. Browsing through the gift shop at the hospital a couple weeks ago, this title just jumped into my mind ... and into my hands before I left! As in any title of this particular genre, I will admit that I began it with a slight amount of skepticism, unsure of the direction the author would take. Bookhog that I am, however, I decided it was worth a shot. It had, after all, practically jumped into my hands.

The more I read, the more "me" I discovered in his work. Could my past be a part of my very real present pain? These words laid a challenge in my mind, and a determination in my heart, to let go ... of EVERYTHING negative, even those past grievances that I thought had gone. Dr. Colbert's examples are so real, some of them were so me. I read my hurt, my inability to forgive (even when I thought I had). The effect that this simple work has had on my state of mind the past week or so has been amazing.

I learned one very simple fact, and it may yet be one that we think we do, or know how to do. Forgive. I realized through reading his work, that there were and are past transgressions that I have not forgiven. Realizing that was quite a shock ... realizing that it could be emotionally and physically devastating was an even larger shock. Talking to God recently has been even more focused on true forgiveness. I both want and need to forgive, and to be forgiven. God has forgiven me, and will continue to do so, but it will take His grace to help me through forgiving others, but most importantly, forgiving myself. Refusing to forgive yourself CAN negatively affect not only your mind and spirit, but can affect your physical health as well. Pray to God for His strength and wisdom. I am.

God, thank you for your gift of grace and love. Help me give to others in the way that you have given to me. Help me understand that I, too, deserve forgiveness ... and that you forgive me. Thank you for loving and forgiving me.

"Then Peter came to Jesus and and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.'"~Matthew 18:21-22 NIV

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."~1 John 1:9 NIV