I Blog For Books

19 January 2009

And So It Begins ...

We all have given birth to ideas in our lives ... small ones, medium ones, and some large ones as well. How did I choose my starting point? This thought has been running through my head and heart for months now, the catalyst has finally activated the seed and so it begins ... As time goes on, this shall unfold. It may or may not parallel my life as it presently stands, but it will always be my honest feelings. Is that not what these writings should be? (written 4 July 07)

Growing up, church was a simple fact of life. You went to church just about every time the doors were open. If you were staying with grandmother and granddaddy, you went to church every time they went. Period. Church had so many things to offer! Sunday School classes, CTS classes (Sunday nights), Vacation Bible School, and dinner on the grounds ... how and why, then, did I depart? Call it "adult" rebellion, if you will. There were many days when I felt forced to attend church. As a result, I vowed that when I was "old enough" to decide for myself, I would go (or not) to church when and where I wanted. The older I grew, the further away from my church roots I grew.

In the past few years, I've felt an emptiness inside of me that nothing quite seems to fill. The unyielding love and support of family and friends was never far away, but something was missing. My faith was still a very big part of me, just not one that I was overly comfortable sharing. What brings me, now, to the point of this very public sharing? A realization, if you will, that I must go down to my knees before I can truly stand tall. Unless and until I have the faith to completely turn my life over to God, true peace will always dance just tantalizingly out of my reach.

This collection is a very intensely private "public speech." It is intended to be a work in progress at all times. Right now, I feel as if I could simply close my eyes and write for hours. Realistically, I know that this computer chair is probably the most uncomfortable piece of furniture in the house and that I would be stove-up for sure if I were to sit in it that long! I invite you to walk with me, if you will, and share my journey.

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. ~Psalm 51:1-2. NIV

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